Joshua's site

I want to start this by saying I was originally pretty excited about the Amico. I know this sounds weird but I liked the idea of a console continuing the Wii U’s gamepad idea, even if it is a micro screen. I loved the Wii U and the gamepad helped a lot with that. Already I knew the Amico wouldn’t do well because of this. However, I still wanted it. Then through interviews and small personal interactions with “CEO” Tommy I lost all interest in the console. Let’s go over this.

The main thing that made me go from going to buy it when Earth Worm Jim 4 comes out to never is the controller. I know this seems weird as I was excited about it, but I’ll explain. I have something wrong with my body. We don’t know what is wrong with it. Doctors could never find an exact medical issue and it is seemingly so rare they’d never heard of it. There are enough work arounds that “it doesn’t matter.” What’s my issue? I can’t use most capacitive touch screens. “What do you mean most?” I’ll have to explain how they work then why.

For those that don’t know capacitive screens work off of heat resistance, to explain it simply. Where you touch on the screen gets a heat signal that is different then the devices and device reads that. This is the easiest way to explain capacitive screens. A lot of them have different heat resistance levels. My old Samsung S3 gave me a lot of issues. So did my mom’s iPhone, and my girlfriend’s current one. My MP3 player is a touch screen and it doesn’t work with me a lot of the time. All my phones have given me issues. With the exception of my Red Mi PRO.

What’s the issue? If I use the screen for a bit it just stops working. No, the screens aren’t broken. They work for others. My MP3 player will work for my girlfriend or coworkers but stops for me. This happens because I give off heat very differently from people. They do not know why but my body changes heat drastically to where I am at. If I am in a 20C room and then people touch me everyone comments how freezing cold I am. If I am outside in 30C everyone comments how hot to the touch I am. Even as I am typing this on my laptop my fingers are burning hot compared to the rest of my hands. My MP3 player works fine right now because my fingers are so much hotter then the device. However, letting them sit for a few minutes they cool down and my MP3 player stops working. I’m sure you can see the issue now.

Some devices I can work with no matter what. My current phone, a Red Mi Pro, has a screen so sensitive that I have dangled a piece of issue over it touching just the tip to my phone. The screen reacted as if I was touching it. Which gets to my point. Not all capacitive screens are the same. They all have different heat resistance levels. You have some like my phone that are so sensitive that my pocket actives it all the time, or a piece of paper can. Then you have the more average, or higher resistance than normal, screens.

How does this relate to the Amico? Well, I asked Tommy on Twitter about the screen. He told me to DM him questions. I did. He read the message and left me on read. I checked back a few days later and the same. I told him that I do have a very odd medical condition that makes it so most screens stop working for me. Ignored. A week or two ago he was replying to Modern Vintage Gamer and giving him a shitty response acting like MVG should know better about something Tommy never once publicly released until then. I managed to get a response in this thread too but publicly calling him out over what he did to MVG and me. His response was that it uses a capacitive screen and then one of his “Amico Mafia” (a sad group of people) proceeded to insult me. Trying to defend Tommy and then get aggressive towards me. Even when I told Tommy that not all capacitive screens are the same, again. Tommy didn’t want to answer. His crony did and every aggressive attack after Tommy liked while ignoring everything I was saying. If this is how Tommy wants to react to people with odd medical conditions; without even addressing it as “Sorry, I’d never heard of this or didn’t know! Maybe a revision!” then fuck him.

One of the things that made the Amico controller so exciting to me is that it is a smaller controller too. I had a bad accident a few years ago. My left hand hurts a lot when using something too big. It makes playing guitar hard. It makes gaming hard. It makes using my phone hard. The accident happened after I got my Wii U. This makes the phone option for the Amico not an option for me either. You want to act like a piece of shit to someone who was really interested in the console, fine. Lost sale and all that jazz.

Before I sign off I want to address something at the top. I put “CEO” in quotes. Why? For those that don’t know Tommy calls himself the “CEO” or Intellivision. He used to say “President”. President I have no issue with. “CEO” I do. A lot of people don’t know this but to be a CEO you need to be voted in by share holders to a publicly traded company to represent it. President you don’t. Randy, from GearBox, does this too. Randy is not a CEO. Gearbox is not a publicly traded company. As far as I can tell, neither is Intellivision. What’s the difference between Randy and Tommy? Randy doesn’t publicly beg for money from investors. Last I heard, Randy only calls himself CEO when talking to fans. Tommy calls himself it in investor videos. While it is true when you run an LLC you can call yourself anything. CEO tends to be avoided because of its relations to publicly traded companies. When I was setting up an LLC I was strongly advised against calling myself CEO for “potential investor fraud”. “Supreme Commander” was okay. Ultimately I just landed on “founder and president”. I have no idea how true the “potential investor fraud” thing was but it was something I was advised about. Though officially for LLCs you are a member.

It’s funny to me that two people considered highly shady and scummy in the games industry both call themselves CEO when they aren’t. It’s also funny that the Intellivision website is just a giant ad for the Amico. Nothing about the company. Nothing about how the company operates. This really just looks like a scam. There is very little that makes it look like Intellivision has anything past this console. Even the old Elvenmonk Studios website had stuff about games we were designing, our custom engine, and more. It looked like we had way more planned after our first game. The company website was a company website and the products each had their own subdomain.

Also, Tommy, you can’t say you’re not an LLC. The bottom of your website says you are an LLC. You’re calling other members CFO. No, you’re not a CEO and they aren’t a CFO. You are all members.

Lastly, having stuff still in your website about how the Amico will be the “wild card of 2020” is hilarious considering it still isn’t out and all the YouTube and Facebook comments are highly unprofessional. Especially because everyone knows you can buy them. So is using photoshopped stock photos on your website and having the Xbox still on your “things people in our company worked on before” because the Xbox guy left right away. I’m sure lots of those listed have too. This would be like me using Kim’s and Mare’s artwork for my company. They “helped” work on stuff for me but they don’t work for me. It’s lying.

I’ve been trying to leave the internet more and more these days. I’m finding it kind of hard. Not really out of addiction but just nothing to do. I moved cities and have no friends here. I have problems speaking the language. I’m pretty shy about going out on my own, unless it’s for something I need. The main reason I’ve been trying to ditch the net is the negativity.

Yet, I can’t. Recently I’ve been pretty down in the dumps. I kind of lost motivation to do all sorts of stuff. It’s why I added the tracking section to my site. To give me something to aim for.

Why have I been down? No one to talk to. My girlfriend is very busy lately. Work and family troubles eat up her time. Friends and family back home don’t seem interested in talking to me. Most of my internet friends don’t either. I’ve just been drifting a bit these past few weeks isolated. Work doesn’t seem to care. Just feeling blah and lifeless.

That previous poem about writer’s block. I didn’t actually mean for it to sound so depressing and negative. When I write poems I kind of don’t think. I just go into a trance and words appear. I’ll edit a few sections, sometimes. However, I try to keep it as authentic as it was when I wrote it. The end. The cry for help. I debated removing it. I didn’t know that was how I felt. I don’t know why it came out. I’m still trying to figure it out. One moment I couldn’t write the story I am working on. Next I change my notebooks and pen to paper all of that came out. The only thought I had in my head when I first touched pen to paper was, “I wonder why writers block happens.” Then that poem was made. I didn’t know I was that depressed.

Then my boss told me some stuff he told me not to tell others. It was all good and about me. It’s been a while since I’d gotten any sort of positive feedback, especially about work. At least, from higher ups. This may not seem like a lot to others, but it is something. I’ve just been kind of used as a free English dictionary or grammar book by people lately. I never thought getting appraisal from work would mean so much; especially with me thinking of changing careers again.

Then my girlfriend was able to come visit. We only get to spend about 5 hours together a month. She gets a train ride over and we hang out at my place for 4 hours. Then we go to sleep because I work early morning next day and we get to have lunch before she leaves. It honestly sucks but those 4 hours are the happiest for me. I was so tired too.

Sunday I had to go to a work event. I was exhausted. I passed out in our demo room before we went. I basically just got to run around in 90 degree weather for 4 hours playing with kids. It was very tiring but fun.

Monday, sleep.

Today I did my writing class and one of the students was asking me for advice at the end. It felt weird and good. Like, someone cared. She wanted advice on improving herself and why I did. She seemed to have taken it to heart. Another student kept thanking me for being her teacher and said she wanted me to keep being her teacher. It just felt nice. While I sacrifice my Tuesdays to prepare lessons and more for these kids; it seems like quite a few of them really care. Some of them don’t. I can tell they’re there because their parents want them to be. They don’t even pay attention when I give the answer and then ask them the answer.

At the end of my writing class I have the kids debate a topic. This is basically so they can work on arguing. Work on good arguments and bad ones. Stop them from making bad faith arguments and stop them from talking over and more. The number of kids staying grew this week. It just felt good. I stayed an extra 50 minutes with the kids going over why certain things are good or bad to say in arguments and explaining why. They all seem to enjoy it. It’s helping their English and critical thinking.

Lately things have been dark. The poem taught me that. Bitterness everywhere. Sometimes I miss Beijing just because I had friends there. Even then a lot of friends stopped talking to me when I moved. These few dim lights are still the brightness I need.

My boss telling me I’m doing well shouldn’t mean much, it’s just a job. Seeing my girlfriend who 5 hours a month should be depressing, not uplifting. Losing my entire day to prepare for a class most students don’t want to go to should be a waste. Yet, all of these are little bright lights. Some brighter then others. Making an impact on my students is a bright one.

Just remember. In darkness, no matter how dim, the light is there to help you.

Hello out there! I have added a new tracking section to my site. This is to encourage me to update weekly by basically showing what I am doing. This will hopefully encourage me to actually do stuff again due to fear of shame. Some stuff is fun stuff, like Dead by Daylight, Pokemon Snap, and what I am reading. Some of it is important stuff like my weight, physical activity, programming courses, time spent playing guitar, and time spent studying Chinese. I’ve been slacking a lot lately so I hope this helps.

Uh. Honestly, I just couldn’t get into the groove of writing again. Everything kept coming out aggressive. as you can see with my post of me shitting on weebs. I kept trying to write but I just didn’t find anything worthy of posting. I know it is weird because it is a blog and anything goes but I just couldn’t. Then three weeks passed. I felt I needed to post but nothing came to mind. Then a month. Then two. Till here we are. I think I might start posting my Chinese homework. So people can see the progression.

Recently I also moved. I was sick. I’ve been trying to work out again and lose weight, but I keep getting sick. I am able to spend more time with my girlfriend. I’m slowly falling out with the internet. Eh. Just living life. Can’t complain. I’m about to go change the strings on my guitar. I am trying to get back into practicing 30 minutes a day.

No, you did not learn Japanese watching anime. Everyone who claims they did are either lying by omission or just flat out lying using Google translate to prove they did. “But kids learn from immersion! So I learned Japanese from anime.” Yeah, no you didn’t. You also don’t know what total immersion is or when the cut off age for that is. What experience do I have to talk about this? I am an American who moved to China to teach English to kids. Not only have I experienced the lie that is immersion but I have also met people here who have been here for 10 years who speak less Chinese then me. Simply because they bought the lie that is immersion. Let’s just cut to it.

Total immersion is real. Yes, kid learn from total immersion. However, do you know what total immersion is? It is when you are 100% consumed by the language you are not familiar with. Total immersion also has an age cut off because of how our brain works. Once you are able to think in your native language easily/fluently total immersion drastically drops. By the age of 7, younger in some cases, people are can no longer purely learn through total immersion. This is because you can no longer totally immerse yourself.

So, what is total immersion? I hear you not asking because you’re so sure you’ve learned Japanese through anime of the week. Total immersion means you isolate your native language from your life. What this means is you do no type in English, you do not use subtitles, you do not listen to things in English, you do not read English, and you are not even supposed to think in English. Your mind needs to be 100% immersed in this new language you are learning. Yeah, if you use subs you are not immersed. You are fucking reading which means your mind is thinking in English. If you watch for 5 hours stopping and texting friends in English. Guess what. You are also no immersed. You need to 100% isolate yourself from your native language. Did you go outside and buy something from McDonald’s in English? You’ve already failed.

“Well, how do kids learn from it then?” I am surprised I have actually seen this stupid fucking question. Babies don’t know a language when they are born. Instead, we pick up a language because we are immersed with the language at home and in our nearby settings. This is why people who grow up in a multi language household have kids who can easily pick up a language. Compared to those who try a multi language household when the kids are much older. Our brains get used to a language and stick with it. This is why as you get older it gets progressively harder to learn a language.

To add more to this. I work at a total English immersion school. Which means all instructions are given to 3 year olds in English. These kids do not know a lick of English. However, the goal is overtime they will learn through total immersion. You have some parents who 100% buy the total immersion bullshit and don’t do the homework with their kids. They also don’t have them practice English outside of the class. These kids are always my worst students. They are super far behind in every regard. Then you have the parents who understand the kids need to do the homework and practice English at home. These kids are my best and learn a lot. I would like to remind you. My students are 3 years old. The weeb immersed version already stopped working on them. They spend 2 hours each time in a pure English environment. No subtitles and no translation. This is way more then your anime with subtitles. At three years old these kids need to study and practice the language. They are studying grammar. They are studying words. They are doing way more then just “immersion”.

Now my own story. I moved to China over a year ago. I wanted to test the immersion theory. A professor in college once told me if I lived in a country for a year I would be fluent because immersion. It is over a year and I struggle in my Chinese classes. Which, I did not start them until a year after being in China. Living in China I am immersed. Everything is in Chinese. The people speak Chinese. I had to learn a few phrases to survive but I did not learn those through immersion. Coworkers taught them to me and spent actual time teaching me these phrases. I know very little Chinese. My listening is awful. My speaking is awful. My reading is somehow the best of all my abilities. My writing is non-existent. So, how is it my Chinese is so bad if I am 100% immersed in the language because I live in the country? Simply because my mind is still thinking in English, I am texting people in English, and I am still listening to my music. Even this blog post is counter intuitive to my immersion in Chinese.

What about my co workers? I know people who have been here for 2 years, 3, 4, 5, and 6 years. I know people who have been here longer too. Of these people almost none of them can speak Chinese. There are three who can. All three of them put in tons of effort to learn Chinese. Down to flash cards, studying the language, taking tests, studying grammar, paying for classes, and much more. I know a guy who has been here since before Trump took office. The dude didn’t start to learn Chinese until recently. He has been here for 5 years and the immersion shit didn’t work. Under every idiots understanding of immersion learning he should be a master of the language. Where as a guy who has been here for 3 years but went to classes and studies his ass off speaks way better Chinese then him. As for the longest I’ve seen someone here without being able to speak Chinese? 10 years. Dude is married with a family and has been here 10 years. He can’t speak a lick of Chinese.

Which gets me to my next point. Yes, anime can help you work on your listening. It can be a tool to help you learn Japanese. However, your ass will never learn Japanese through it. “Peter from jlist…” Okay, I’m going to cut you off there. I have never seen Peter from Jlist claim this. In fact, in one of his blog posts from over a decade ago he talks about how he studied Japanese in school. He talked about how his family would host foreign exchange students from Japan all the time. That since he was a kid he was exposed to Japanese and had natives teach him the language. Peter did not learn Japanese through anime. I’m sure it helped his listening. As did his college years of blasting Jpop in the school parking lot (why do I remember this blog post?). However, the dude has put in an insane amount of time studying the language. The dude lives in Japan. The dude STILL studies the language to this day. He’s written numerous posts over the decade about his struggles with learning phrases and meanings.

“But I learned these phrases.” Yeah so what? I’ve learned phrases watching Telemundo growing up at my grandma’s house. Doesn’t mean I know exactly what they mean or how to pronounce them correctly. Doesn’t mean I can speak Spanish. If you want to learn a language you need to study it. You need to use it and you need to immerse yourself in it. Also, please for the love of god do not try to speak Japanese like anime. Peter from Jlist has blog posts about how him and his kids will talk like anime characters to annoy his wife because she hates how exaggerated everything is. If you want an easy example then look at American TV. Look at shows like Monk, Law and Order SVU, Friends, and Big Bang Theory. Many people on these shows talk with such odd speech patterns, odd cadence, and very odd word usage. This is true for all entertainment mediums. You can even look at YouTube. People do not talk that fast in day to day life. People do not ignore that many commas and periods. People take time to breathe between words. Everything is distorted for short attention spans and algorithms. Growing up I loved Law and Order SVU. No idea why my mom let me watch it. I loved the main character. My mom was confused when I started to call him “the weird guy”. It was because he spoke in such a weird unnatural sounding way. I said the same thing about Ross and Chandler on friends as well. My mom didn’t understand at all what I meant.

The same thing is true with anime. The same thing people here in China told me to look out for when finding TV shows to watch. I was even given a list of TV shows to ignore because of irregular speech patterns. I actually remember a time I met someone who most of their later in life English learning was from American TV shows. They spoke in such a weird way that it was hard to pay attention. I did not want to be rude to them. However, they did not sound American. Like many claimed they did. They sounded like a sped up faux Hollywood with an irregular cadence to everything they said. Tons of skipped punctuation marks in their speech. Everything about their speech pattern sounded off.

For an extra kick. If immersion worked like people thought it did then we would all be fluent in Spanish from Dora the Explorer.